Back in the late 80's, I was called to be a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints--most often simply called the Mormons. This was quite a demanding but a very rewarding position. Most of the wards (congregations) were in the suburbs but because my ward met in the city of Minneapolis, it was decided to also call me to be the "Transient Bishop". That meant all those new to the city who called for some assistance were referred to me and I would determine what kind of assistance they would receive. My telephone rang a lot!
To determine the extent of help we (the church) would ask questions like "What ward are you from? Who is your Bishop?" If I got an answer to either of those questions I would call that Bishop to determine whether to assist. In truth, most of the time the caller didn't know what ward he or she was from or who the Bishop was and I knew I was dealing with an inactive member or quite possibly not a member. Was this a person trying to milk the system? Many times the answer to that last question was--- yes. I was close to the Bus Station and therefore it made sense to assign this calling to a person best suited to handle the transient persons coming into town. As I said before, I received a lot of phone calls in the 7 years I had this assignment.
Unfortunately most of the calls, as they were screened, were from callers trying to get a free ride and when I asked pertinent questions they realized I was not going to assist them without some basis of their standing in the church records. Many times I purchased a lot of tanks of gas or bags of groceries and sent them on their way. To some however, it may have meant paying the first and last months rent for an apartment they were planning to rent. Obviously this called for something more than a phone call.
I remember one woman who pleaded with me to help her and her three kids. The landlord was waiting for my affirmation and he would know that the church was a secure risk and would therefor proceed with the rental. After doing more than accept the word of this unknown person, it turned out she had 7 children not the 3 she had told the landlord. She also was an inactive member and could not give the name of someone who would recommend her. I was sorry but it was apparently necessary to refuse her the help she needed.
Decisions of when to help and when not to were the most difficult problems I faced during that 7 years. But sometimes the person calling, when realizing I would not be a patsy would just hang up thus making my decision easier. I recall one young sounding woman after being asked pertinent questions merely said "Oh take a hike." I loved it!! She just wanted a handout but wasn't going to be pinned down. Louise would take the calls many times and had become quite learned in the ways to interview the callers. One, when asked his position in the church, the query from Louise was "Are you a Seventy?" ( this was a standard calling some members had at that time) The caller replied "I am about a Sixty". There is no such calling in the church and of course this person was not in a position to receive some assistance. And thus it was for the several years I had this calling---do I help or do I not. I have many times asked myself, what would the Savior do? That only complicated my resolve more and the dilemmas were many. I had the authority to spend church's money in any way I felt reasonable. Ah yes, but what was reasonable? That was the question, and for the years it was my responsibility to make those decisions, every situation was different and those difficulties were never simple. Judging the goodness of people has never been easy, but as the only judge, I was continuously faced with "do I or do I not"? I never found the answer!
3 comments:
Oh how hard it must have been to turn children away... it's not their fault they are in such terrible predicaments. But I truly do believe that we learn from actions much more than from words. If you teach children to work hard and not expect a handout, that's what they will do.
I am a proud woman whose young parents had TWO sick children in a time when insurance was not even an option. We were on public assistance AND food stamps but my Dad worked from dawn till dusk as a cook and then a welder and by the time I was 12 my Dad had not only paid all the hospital bills, pulled us off the welfare line and built us a house. He had paid for it, in full! With him as an example I know that some people need help only while they help themselves. Some people think getting help is a way of life...and those need not my charity, only my prayers.
Thanks for the reality check. I love reading your musings. Brenda
Jim,
I don't envy you that calling!! With your soft heart it was no doubt a difficult time. I guess your only option was to listen to and be guided by the spirit. I'm sure you were a blessing to many!!
I cannot tell you how glad I am never to have had any responsibility even similar to that. I can never understand how one makes the choices. And what of those who are inactive and a little help might reaffirm their shaky faith? How do you know who those are and separate them from those looking to take advantage of church affiliation? Well, I guess prayer is definitely the answer, but I'm still glad I never had to decide such things. =)
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