A CLEANER WINDSHIELD

There is a two lane road that links the New York State Freeway (never knew why it was called Free-way?), and the Ohio Turnpike and we were on it at 6:00 A.M. on our way to Utah with our family. These were the days when station wagons were the Suv' s of today and Louise and the two girls were sleeping in the back on my sponge rubber mattress. Rand, age 8 was in the passenger seat and Joel, age 3 was standing between us. I was driving madly down this empty road trying to be in the Cleveland area by early morning. As a result, my attention was concentrated on driving fast with eyes only on the road. At this time, Joel the younger, chose to announce "I have to pee-pee". Loathe to waste any time, a particularly strong foible of mine, you know, you can only go to the John when we stop for gas, type of attitude. I responded without taking my eyes off the road,"Rand, get the mayonnaise jar out from beneath the seat". After it's procurement, Joel begins to dutifully urinate into the jar all the while standing on the seat. Obviously these were days before seat belts were in order. I am still proceeding at a fast rate when Rand complains "Dad, its getting near the top". Taking a quick glance I reply, with confidence, "Oh that little guy can't fill that jar". For some unknown reason, Rand begins to lift the jar as though that will shut off the water flow and as it gets higher, Joel's little penis is being lifted over the top of the jar. Fire hoses are known not to have as much pressure as Joel had developed and not only is there a pressurized stream flying over the top of the jar, and not only is the stream, flying over the dashboard, it is hitting the inside of the windshield with a vengeance. Water is cascading down the glass and flowing over the dashboard and I am collapsing with the humor of the situation. Oh for a video camera. Here we are in the quiet of the early morning, with the only noise emanating from the car's engine, except in the cars interior there is the distinctive noise made by lawn sprinklers. I have lived these many years but the recollection of that bit of hilarity has never left my memory and sadly, Louise was never witness to it. But look on the bright side. I have had continuous laughter that has lasted a life time, plus I had a sparkling, clear windshield.