MOYNSIE #2

About a year ago I wrote a post about Jim Moynihan, a Catholic character and my best friend. Why was he my best friend? Good question. He had a fascination for irritating others. His cynical nature was always at the top of his personality and, as I said before, he managed to alienate the 5 other couples that comprised our social group. He was left with me, his circle of friend.

I used that sarcasm when he and Kay arrived late one night and he stated he had hurt the feelings of one of our couples. He took great delight in admitting this. All the things I have mentioned makes one stop and wonder, "And he was your best friend"? Strangely he was, and I previously stated that I loved him. So therein lies a question not easily answered. I guess if I had to sum it up, it lies in his great sense of humor and my ability to be almost equally amusing whenever we were together. His family moved at the end of the same street where we had purchased our first home. I would look down to the end of the street and if I saw cars I would call him and pretend to be hurt because we hadn't been invited. It was part of the act we put on.

He was the master of conflict of interests. He had graduated law school --2nd in his class I might add, (his brother was first) and was working for an insurance company as an adjuster. He would go to the scenes of automobile accidents and give his card to both parties and in many cases act as the attorney for both of the principles. As a result he became quite wealthy very rapidly. Unsavory and unreal ? Yes, but the two different insurance companies never caught on for a period of time sufficient for him to not only make a lot of money but to build a client base that went on forever. Conflict of interest ? Of course!! That demonstrates somewhat of a nefarious character, but you must admit it also speaks to an effective result. It was not against the law, but somewhat the crossing of a thin line.

As to his humor he was at his peak at about 5:30 in the morning and I have never known anyone that was instantly funny as he rose from his bed. The times I stayed overnight or that we traveled together made for deliciously humorous mornings. As an illustration of his wit, we played golf one day and acting the part of a pawn, I mentioned to him when I saw a white round piece of dog poop. I pretended to act as though it was my ball and we both laughed. That evening after dinner at his home with the foursome that played and their wives, he parlayed my white (?) ball into a full blown dissertation about how dumb I had to have been to think that was my golf ball. It went on for a full 10 minutes while he extolled the humor of the situation. I could go on a long time about his questionable virtues but suffice it to say I was the butt of many of his remarks. But I gave as good as I got and in the end that was what he enjoyed. Trying not to patronize myself it was this that set me apart from other people he met. and it was this that solidified our friendship. We fed off of each other and it sure made for fun times when we were together.

He died of pancreatic cancer in South Carolina where he had retired following his divorce from Kay. I had a call one night from his second wife and she said, "If you want to see him you had better get here quick". I arrived that night fairly late and the hospital was dark and quiet. As I entered his room he was awake and in his inimitable manner said to me, "Can you imagine all this fuss over a hang nail". I guess he epitomized the phrase "Always leave them laughing" and while I laugh at the thought of him, there is a lump in my throat for what we could have shared these many years he has been gone. Moynsie, my faith tells me we will share some other times in another chapter. The book on the two of us is not yet closed. Be well my friend.

THE TEETH THAT DROPPED

It seems that I can remember the things of long ago better than what took place yesterday. Incidentally, what did take place yesterday? At any rate in the long ago time of my youth, I had a job at my former grammar school and the custodian in charge of the refurbishing of the school made the mistake of giving me Jimmie Gassman as my work partner. Do you remember that schools of that era had very high classroom windows and Jimmie and I each had a tall ladder that allowed us to clean way up there. However, my new friend had a great sense of humor and could do tricks like blowing across his flattened hand as it was placed edgewise over his mouth. He then would imitate the deep sound of the ships horn and it was funny because of his hand and face positions as well as the sound that floated across the school room. Mr Durr, our friendly custodian came in at the wrong moment as Jimmie was blowing and I was laughing. Mr Durr was upset that these two clowns, instead of working, were playing around. So he let us have it and we were soundly chastised. He left and our laughter soon continued. At a later time --possibly 30 minutes, we were again engaged in some side splitting laughter when our not so friendly custodian re-entered the room. We were in the same positions as before but possibly laughing even harder. Irate could not be strong enough to describe Mr Durr. His face blew out of shape. His bald head quivered with rage. His eyes became malevolent slits. Anger was a polite word that could not possible describe his mood. Words would not come out in the manner he wished and as that happened his rage escalated even more. Desperate to spit out his words, he was finally reduced to dropping his teeth into his hand so he could have control of the words needed to scream at us. Seeing this we could not hold back any further and both of us practically fell off our ladders at this display. Yes, we no longer had to worry about working at the school. He finally, after all kinds of language my tender ears had never even heard, managed to get enough control to shout "You are both fired"!!! We were still laughing as we walked out. I never saw Jimmie Gassman again although I, too, will demonstrate a ships horn on occasion, and have often wondered if his memory of that summer job is the same as is mine and we can still laugh. I'm sure Mr Durr is long dead and I have often had some regret about our irresponsible action but in the minds of 14 year old kids, it was very funny.