THE ARIZONA PENGUIN

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Love

I have been thinking the term 'Love" is overused and often out of place. I began thinking about this while reading a relatively poor Christmas letter received from a fellow who was a friend, once upon a time. I haven't seen him in about eight years and back prior to this, if I did see him by accident, he would always say,"We'll have to have you over for dinner some night". I long ago gave up on that invitation (?)  knowing it was a gesture meaning absolutely nothing. I guess he meant well. Louise had passed away, but it would have been better left unsaid--just like the term "Love". That was how he signed his annual Christmas letter. Why? He doesn't love me. If he had not written an additional note on the back of the letter, it may well have been that I happened to still be on the list of his friends but, why would he sign it "Love"? I doubt that he even remembers who I am! However he is not alone in that incorrect manner of any farewell. Many people say it when they part from an enjoyable dinner party or possibly a movie. Are they serious? I don't think so.
     People hang up their phones with "love ya". Again I ask, are they serious? I have a new friend that is from my high school years and we have just re-connected. I am delighted to know her and to Email her or such but I don't sign my Emails "Love", nor does she, nor should we. We don't love each other no matter how happy we are discover each other after these many years. I will continue our correspondence, may they be by phone, letter or Email but I guarantee, it will take me a long time to sign off with "Love".   
      To me, that term should be used by actual family members or close friends of many years. It is not to be thrown out as though people can't think of another word to indicate there is a parting of two or more persons. While I might be able to accept this parting expression from one woman to another provided I know they have been good friends for a long time, I would be hard pressed to think a man would say it to another. And yet the person mentioned above said it me. Balderdash!!!
     There are other words to be used as a substitute. How about Fondly? Affectionately?  "See you"  Yours!There are many ways of saying farewell without verbal posturing. Maybe you are the type that says love without any meaning except as a good by. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you are short in your vocabulary  if you can't find other ways to leave a friend. I never hear my sons say "Love" to a brother and don't think I ever will except possibly (God forbid) a funeral. Think about it and lets hear a new phrase, like, well, so long!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Annie

                                                 



It was a bright day in my life that day I first met Annie. My friend Nick and I were at our club after playing tennis and decided we would walk the track for a while. A couple of ladies were already walking, one slower than the other and as we would catch up to one or the other, we would exchange greetings or comments. One thing led to the other and Nick being the most friendly would get the names of these two who turned out to be sisters. Nick, always the jokester would have them laughing as we passed by. We found out that the slower one was Ruth and shorter one was Annie. Her pace, walking the track was at least twice the speed that Nick and I maintained. She was possibly five foot tall, if that, with foot speed to match a wide receiver. She could really pick them up and lay them down. As weeks passed, this friendship grew and we would go to breakfast together on occasion or possibly go to their home for lunch. It turned out they lived together and set a table of corned beef or pastrami for Nick and me and it was a nice friendship.

Then Ruth was rushed home from Palm Springs with a illness that shortly thereafter, took her life. Annie was terribly distraught and Nick and I wanted to lend our support as best we could and went to the Shiva held at Annie's home. I let her grieve for a few weeks before contacting her and invited her to go out for coffee so she, in some way, could, at least, get out of the house. I'm sure she felt depressed at the loss of her best friend and I hoped to lend some consolation and lift her spirits. She accepted my invitation and before long I asked if she would like to go out to a movie or to dinner and one night she confided in me that she had not gone out on a date in the 18 years since her husband died. Some may have stated we were a strange couple, -a Mormon and a Jew, but we enjoyed each other and our friendship became warm and close. I think Anne was about 75 when all this took place but for those 20 years I considered her one of my best friends.

It was a sad day when I made my decision to move to Arizona. I was going to miss many friends but my affection for Nick and Annie topped them all. I went back to see her last summer and she still was strong and warm but age was beginning to take its toll. She greeted me at the door of her home with the help of a 'walker' still smiling with a welcoming handshake. I miss Annie now. She was always one in whom I could find a smile and bright eyes. Life does not offer us many friendships and those that I have garnered I have treasured. Of those treasures Annie stands as one of the brightest. In my mind I can still her short legs churning around the track faster than a speeding bullet  with a smile to match. I look forward to my summer  visit to once again be charmed by her warmth and friendliness. And as a famous comedian used to say Annie, "You are the greatest!"