Saturday, January 19, 2013


I have been thinking the term 'Love" is overused and often out of place. I began thinking about this while reading a relatively poor Christmas letter received from a fellow who was a friend, once upon a time. I haven't seen him in about eight years and back prior to this, if I did see him by accident, he would always say,"We'll have to have you over for dinner some night". I long ago gave up on that invitation (?)  knowing it was a gesture meaning absolutely nothing. I guess he meant well. Louise had passed away, but it would have been better left unsaid--just like the term "Love". That was how he signed his annual Christmas letter. Why? He doesn't love me. If he had not written an additional note on the back of the letter, it may well have been that I happened to still be on the list of his friends but, why would he sign it "Love"? I doubt that he even remembers who I am! However he is not alone in that incorrect manner of any farewell. Many people say it when they part from an enjoyable dinner party or possibly a movie. Are they serious? I don't think so.
     People hang up their phones with "love ya". Again I ask, are they serious? I have a new friend that is from my high school years and we have just re-connected. I am delighted to know her and to Email her or such but I don't sign my Emails "Love", nor does she, nor should we. We don't love each other no matter how happy we are discover each other after these many years. I will continue our correspondence, may they be by phone, letter or Email but I guarantee, it will take me a long time to sign off with "Love".   
      To me, that term should be used by actual family members or close friends of many years. It is not to be thrown out as though people can't think of another word to indicate there is a parting of two or more persons. While I might be able to accept this parting expression from one woman to another provided I know they have been good friends for a long time, I would be hard pressed to think a man would say it to another. And yet the person mentioned above said it me. Balderdash!!!
     There are other words to be used as a substitute. How about Fondly? Affectionately?  "See you"  Yours!There are many ways of saying farewell without verbal posturing. Maybe you are the type that says love without any meaning except as a good by. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you are short in your vocabulary  if you can't find other ways to leave a friend. I never hear my sons say "Love" to a brother and don't think I ever will except possibly (God forbid) a funeral. Think about it and lets hear a new phrase, like, well, so long!


MARCIE said...

You must know a lot of really shallow people. Just kidding...
Love ya!

Brenda said...

Agreed! What is it with the "let me make something up and pretend like I will call you" line? I find it less offensive if you just say, "it was nice to see you again." and just be on your way... maybe it's the feeling of being lied to face to face. I can so relate to your post. I don't love you my dear Pinguin, but you sure make me smile. Be well. I look forward to reading your musings again, Brenda=)

dkb said...

I do love you Uncle JIm-but I also agree with your stance on this overused word. Happy Belated Birthday.