Connie

She was a waif of a child when she arrived in the states from Spain. Living in Brooklyn for most of her younger years, the new language came easily and there was never a shred of Spanish as the years grew. Her Father was a craftsman and earned a living for his family by working with his hands. I have heard many time of his talents and industry but her Mother was well known and appreciated by those that knew her; Baba was the example of the work ethic that made the early immigants well known. She never shirked a job others never noticed. I didn't know her well but well enough to appreciate her willingness, no, her desire to help, wherever it was needed. Connie grew with those habits ingrained and in many way she was like her Mother. Lets say she was a modern Baba who fit into any place she desired to be. Connie and Marty were married at a pretty early age and like Connie, Marty was just as motivated and industrious as was most children of the earlier nationalities that came to this country in the early 20's. He was a small child that arrived from Scotland. How two, as apparently dissimilar, as were those two, got together is mystery I am not privy to, But get together they did, added three to their family and went about with Marty spending over 40 years with General Mills, changing over to Hunt industries long enough to acquire a pension to go along with one from his first job.

But this tribute is for Connie and I long ago wrote of Marty at the time of his death. Connie passed away today after defying the Doctors who had predicted she would pass away soon after she took a fall and spent almost 4 weeks of hanging in there with a heart and lungs that wouldn't give up. I first got to know Connie when my wife was to take my two girls and and a 6 month old Christopher to Utah to place the girls in school. Connie, in her positive way, refused to allow Louise to drive there unaccompanied with no one to care for Chris. Who is this person I remember asking myself? I found she and Louise had become friends after an all girls luncheon, with Connie coming to visit regularly so as to make Louise, a Mormon girl, make coffee during her visits. That trip took on even greater importance when they were snowed on September 9, in Rawlins Wy. and it took 3 days there before the plows could open the road. As time progressed and Connie became one my closest friends. I was so grateful to this 60 inch dynamo for staying with Louise and caring for Chris' dirty diapers and all else. This is a great example of Connie's unselfishness and dedication to a necessary job. This, more than anything else exemplyfies who she was - a strong personality who wouldn't back away from where she saw work. We became very close to Marty and Connie. Marty passed away about 17 years ago. Connie passed away this morning almost blind from Macular Degeneration but still indomintable but yearning to join her beloved Marty. I have spoken to her many times through these years and we always ended with the words "I love you" and I did. She will always be one of the great spirits that has touched me for good and I am a better person for having known Connie-- my friend.

Warmer Than a Handshake

It was a blustery winter day in February that I set out to make what was to become a yearly event to upper northeast New York State. My boss, Lloyd, was with me and this was my first buying trip to the glove center of the country. While there were many women's gloves imported from Italy, men's gloves were still primarily made in the Twin Cities of Johnstown and Gloversville and Lloyd was showing me how it was done. It was always a pleasant event going from this manufacturer to another over the course of the day. We were to spend 2 full days there viewing the various gloves made by the several businesses. Most of the companies welcomed the opportunity to let us take several samples back to our hotel room where we would spend two full nights poring over the way gloves were made and which ones would fit our buying budget. While it was somewhat laborious, it was my first trip and I found it very interesting, We would spend the two nights writing the styles down and then as another sample showed more promise, cross off the first and in this way gradually reduce maybe 50 samples to the 6 or 8 we would actually plan to purchase. I learned which were pigskin and which were cape -skin (Lamb) and the various grades and appearance of each; which were hand sewn as compared to machine sewn and other interesting facts about gloves. Ultimately we would arrive at a given number of which to buy and which to eliminate from our buying plan. I would make this trip and go through a similar process for several years following this first trip. I was the buyer of menswear in a department store for seven years before the store would close and I was to be employed by another retail department store in another city. But that is story to be told at another time.

The gloves purchased would begin arriving at my store in September and we would begin advertising them as the weeks passed by. As the buyer, I would supply the advertising department with necessary 'copy' so they could smooth it out for the buying public. One time I wrote my copy and used as a headline "warmer than a handshake". It was used in that manner in the paper and some years later, long after I had left the retail field, I saw that line used by another department store trying to sell gloves. That made me feel good that some one else felt it was an appropriate line to be used in advertising gloves. Small achievements are food for memories. I enjoyed those trips very much and although I worked far into the night making my decisions they were memories I had long ago forgotten until I happened to pull an old pair of gloves from a rarely used drawer. Thus are memories rekindled and brought back to mind and although it has been many years since that first trip, it was a small voyage into new learnings that even today, with this writing I have remembered a peccary pigskin from a sueded capeskin. Not only are my hands warmed by this look at the past but so is my heart and mind as well.

My Quest

It is quite well known amongst my close friends and family that I am a diabetic. Oh I don't advertise it but when I deny myself eating a large beautiful piece of pie, people look and usually understand. Do I weaken once in a while? Oh yes! But in general, having seen some with amputated feet or legs, it is sufficient for me to resist. However when it comes to chocolate it is very trying to curb my temptation. I have done some traveling in my business days, most to the Orient where acquiring chocolate is a problem. Japan, forget it. Those guys would insist I eat sweetened grasshoppers when they are "in season". Ugh! I remembered Korea was the next country I was to visit and I figured maybe there? Well, I was right. In the basement of the hotel I stayed at was a kind of a Army PX store and it had fun sized Milky Ways. Oh I forgot to tell I am also cheap. When I would bring candy home to Louise, she would always take the good stuff knowing I didn't care as long as mine was chocolate. Before I get back to Korea I must admit that there were days when I would get desperate enough to eat Bakers cooking chocolate and think it was wonderful. Now you must admit that is pretty bad, but, I needed a "fix". 

So, returning to Korea, the basement store and the Milky Ways, they were available in the States for about $2.49 but those bandits wanted $3.95 for a bag and I just wouldn't permit my cheapness to pay that inflated price-never mind they had to fly it in from the U.S. and there were transportation costs involved. Don't confuse me with the facts The price was exorbitant and I just bore up with the strain of temptation. But now we head for Hong Kong and I was on the shuttle boat from Hong Kong Island to Kowloon and decided that I would visit a market place at the head of the incoming boat dock. Lo and behold! What did I see? A big sign saying "See's Candies" Eureka! I'm saved. I went in and must admit I went overboard but can you blame me? Two countries I had visited with no success, but I might have guessed the Brits, who at that time still owned that piece of China, liked their chocolate too.

So, I vowed never to be caught in that situation again and began to set my thoughts in motion and think I have a solution. Its a bit weird but it works. I have used Chocolate syrup in milk. I have used powdered Slim Fast in water as advised and that is now my solution. I carry Hershey's Chocolate syrup with me in my travels. If I stay in a hotel,- no problem. I call down for some ice and proceed to mix up a glass full of ice and water--in a home, there is always a bathroom handy and I can live without the ice. My mixture takes care of my cravings. So there you have it. I have solved the unsolvable. My quest is successful and I am sufficiently fulfilled. Lets hear it for Hershey's syrup. Don't leave home without it!!

My Flag

I have a nice sized flag hanging from my second story balcony that requires occasional unfurling. So I keep an old fishing rod handy to take care of its wrapping around the staff. I am so pleased and proud of "Old Glory" that I almost salute it each time I come home after parking my car. As I look around my apartment complex, I see an occasional flag but, some how, I always wish that I would see more of them. Why is it that there are so few that want to show their love of country and the flag? With all the unrest that is plaguing our country at this time doesn't it make sense that more would indicate to the world, their love of country and want every one to know it? There was a time when this country was almost over run with those leaving Europe for a country that was advertising freedom and opportunity. We were a melting pot then with the Poles, the Micks. the Jews and so many more ethic groups that believed there would be a better way. Today we are being over run with the Muslim, the Latin and probably others of which I am unfamiliar. Are we still a melting pot? No! Today there are too many trying to divide us from each other. A flag would be a wonderful way to separate us from those who do not have the same love of country as do I. I can't help but think of Louise and am constantly beating myself up, figuratively, that I didn't tell her of my love for her as I put my arms around her. She's gone and I can never get her back, at least in this life. Do you see the anology I am inserting? Is it possible that there will come a day when we will be thinking "Oh how I wish for the time when we were able to put up a christmas tree, a cross, a flag, to once again be able to put our arms around a country we love" Where are our liberties going? This is not the vision of our founders! A pernicious erosion is gradually eating up many of the reasons those on the Mayflower were risking their lives to come to this country. I believe we are risking our freedoms, hoping to weather the storm and not sink the ship of liberty we have loved for these many,many decades. If we truly have concerns about this, would it violate our principles to let a flag indicate our love of county and what it stands for? The discord that is reverberating throughout our land is frightening and surely will lead to problems we have never had to witness. Maybe its time for all of us to really believe in the Pledge of Allegiance and maybe to show a flag to prove it!! God Bless America!!

Matthew

Many times the words have been uttered that the only time families gather are at funerals and weddings. It is certainly true in this instance and we will smile and laugh at humorous memories. It is our way to show our love and respect for another family member that has passed into the final stage of life. May he find happiness there with the pain gone and his former family members and friends there to greet him. Farewell young Matthew. You will be missed. Your outgoing personality, your infectious humor and all those trademarks that made you what you have meant to us. Farewell.

LAST MAN STANDING

I know this title is reminescent of a gangster movie or some other media but in this case it really takes on a serious meaning for me. Because I am IT! Yes, the last of my peer group has passed on and I want to tell you of the several men that were classified as my best friends. Oh I have had many good friends through the years and they date back to high school days. But my best friends were special and memorable and as I now sit and think of them I can't help but shed a tear and remember what they meant to me, for they all meant a lot. My first best friend was uniquely called Moon. I don't know why and never asked when I should have. We were cheerleaders but more than that, we hung out together for several years until he went into the Air Force and a few months later, I went into the Navy. Yeah you guessed it, there was a war on and most of the guys I knew were enlisting or were being drafted. The funny thing about Ernie (Moon) was that although we kept in touch for 60 years, we rarely saw each other. He had stayed in the military while I had opted out but I still thought of him as my best friend.

I had chosen to be a retailer and had a pretty good career going when I met Jim. He arrived at the store in which I was working and was hired as a housewares buyer. He was a tall, good humored guy and we struck it off at once. We traveled together, partied together and our wives became very good friends--which incidentally is the only way you can have a best friend. The wives have to like each other and fortunately they did. As the years passed, Jim and I were separated, each of us following our own chosen paths but somehow we continued to see each other in New York, New Jersey or Pennsylvania. We managed to continue our friendship all over the country.

Bud and John were Navy buddies. Somehow, inspite of the Navy moving us around, we managed to get into the same group and managed to maintain our friendship through most of the time we were flying together. John and I were navigator/copilots in the same plane. Bud was in the same group but a different aircraft. However Bud and I, along with our wives had lived in the same home at one of the bases and had developed a wonderful relationship amongst the four of us. Didn't I tell you the wives also had to become friends? Those two friendships lasted over 60 years also with Bud passing about 3 years ago and John more recently. And now I have saved two friends until the end of this writing. One was Moynsie who was the first to go. He and I had known each other in High School but only casually. The real friendship began when we met at a bus stop in front of the University of Buffalo. For some reason everything clicked and we began a friendship-along with our spouses that lasted for years. Moynsie was the first to die and I was in Japan when my secretary called and told me she had bad news. Moynsie had passed away at 56 and I remember leaning against a wall with tears running down my cheeks. He was the one I had spent the most time with and whom I had come to love the most. I tear up now recalling how much laughter we got and gave each other.

But I now come to the last to go. Dick and I had met at the department store at which we were both employed. He was a basement buyer at the time and we found out we had both been at the same high school although Dick was a couple of years younger. But we hit it off and it built into a great relationship. We were both buyers. We golfed together, often traveled together and even when I left to go to Wisconsin we would meet in N.Y. The thing that bonded us, was the yearly store party and we found that he and I would write the script, plan the events to take place on the stage of a nearby hotel and work things so the party was a complete success for several years. We had a blast entertaining all the other employees.

Well, there you have it. A record of my closest, best friends. I have much to remember about them all. They brought joy into my life and helped to make my years part of the wonder that has been mine. As I think of them and what they meant to me, I can't help but recognize that it is friendships that make our lives what they are. What kind of a life would it be if we didn't have those relationships that go beyond our love of family- that enriches the tapestry into which is embroidered those many friendships. I am so grateful for the fulness that my life has been and for the men that have made it so. It is my hope that yours will be the equal.

Always Leave Them Laughing

It seems like a long time ago and as I think of it, it is. But for some reason a friend and I were talking about our wives, children and pregnancies. Yeah, I know that seems strange for a couple of old birds like us to be talking about that subject. Football, maybe, baseball definitely, but a subject like pregnancies--hardly. However, we were and I remembered one of mine, --- make that Louises'; actually I remember all of them but this one was special. It was like this: I was in L.A. and was having dinner with our west coast salesmen and his wife when I remarked, "If you will excuse me I had better call home before it is too late" and I headed for a phone. Of course it was not a cell phone in those days, thus I had to leave the table and head for the nearest pay phone. I rang and Louise answered and as we talked, she asked if I was going to ask what the Dr had said. Of course the typical male I replied "Oh, that's right, what did he say." With that, a sudden gush of tears followed and her trembling voice said "I'm pregnant!" Knowing she may have wanted something else, I couldn't help myself and I almost shouted "Honey, that's wonderful", and I truly believed it was. I calmed her down but continued laughing. I have often wondered if she was emotional for fear that I would be upset or because she didn't want another child. I really think it was her concern about me but I was delighted and excited at the thought of another child and she became very accepting of what the next 8 months would bring. She would be 41 by the time the baby was to come. We mentioned it once, without concern, and never spoke of it again. Our Chris was born, peed all over the Dr.twice and I left the room laughing and have laughed many times since then recalling how happy I was at the news and how quickly Louise became happy too. His brothers and sisters think he was spoiled but its probable that the youngest of the family always catches that flack. He was just great kid and was the catalyst that completed our family.